Forget hanging out in the cold and wet waiting for a clock to chime midnight. Ditch Jools for a string quartet and see the new year in  popinjay style.

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This work is a parody and has been produced in line with the relevant UK legislation. It is not thought to infringe copyright of original owners of content referenced and sampled (http://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/20... & http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainme...)

It's a popinjay's Hogmanay
My new year’s day is recherché
The extravagence I do convey
Is like Liberace in his heyday
They say it happens in Edinburgh
But I'm not prepared to go that far
Those tartan scots are a horror show
So I'll stay at home with a nice Bordeaux
With smoking jackets and canapes
We'll play jolly tunes on a cor anglais
There'll be japes, jokes and canasta
It's the only way to avoid disaster


Someone stop Jools Holland yelling Hootenanny
Because it's really getting on my fanny
I want string quartets playing minuets
Not boogie woogie piano duets
Bring me luxury not debachuary
And keep your drinks off the upholstery
We'll have fine wines & flowing prose
And awesome snacks, from Waitrose


May old acquaintance be forgot?
What a lot of utter rot
I want fabulous things throughout December
Then a New Year's Eve to remember 


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